Sunday, March 25, 2007

Practice makes perfect


What does a worry free me look like? With puffy hair??? (shirt from France, skirt from Taiwan and earrings you can't see from Japan)

Just last night, I was lying in bed wondering why I had so many worries? I finally got tired of worrying and decided to quit doing it. For a moment, I felt good about myself for being able to convince myself into that. Seriously, I was very proud of myself. One of my grad school professors once commented on my personality and said, "Loretta will always find something to worry about even if there is nothing close to be doing so." He was darn right! I do not have much confidence in myself even though I have been perceived to be successful in many things. I am still this little girl seeking the approval from someone.

But being able to perceive the problem doesn't lead to easy correctin of my worrisome personality. What I can do is to "make up my mind" to stop the vicious cycle of carrying unnecessary responsibilities and start to learn to enjoy myself.

The first step will begin from separating others' problems from mine. Well, this is a big revelation for me. While others' behaviors may have an adverse impact on me, I want to be free from perpetuating the effect. I can build up this invisible wall to shield them off and I can tell myself that I am free from their influences. So it was really unfortunate to be hitted on by this married guy in my department and it was not my problem. I despise him and the best I can do for now is to avoid him. This man holds some sort of power to manipulate my promotion so I have to be careful in taking any actions. If this was in a different culture, then I would directly request an apology. But in this sytem, things are different and I have to be very caustious.

I am blessed with many good things in life and I should be happy and worry free. I know I can be a genuinely happy person so I'll start being one today. Good luck to myself and I can be a whole new person in a few weeks.

11 comments:

  1. Thanks, Steven. So puffy hair is good, uh?

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  2. Puffy hair is good! You look lovely! Glad to read of your new revelation!

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  3. Thanks for your encouragement sweetie, and stand by me, my friend to cheer me on.

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  4. My wife is very similar to you in outlook. She often finds things to worry about where none exist. I tend not to worry about anything and it drives her crazy.

    I hope you will find the strength to make the changes you wish, I know it is not easy.

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  5. Thanks for your support, Jeff. I know most women are more emotional than men so I am not surprised to learn that your wife feels the same as I do. I am trying very hard to get better but it has been difficult.

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  6. That's a pretty picture. You look good (a genuine compliment ;) )

    Whereabouts in Taiwan do you live, by the way? I lived in Taichung for 2 1/2 years, so I'm quite familiar with Taiwan (well, I think so, anyway...)

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  7. Thanks, Roger for visiting. I am in Taichung. I have been here for over three years now and to me, it is just another Taiwanese town, and nothing really attracts me to it.

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  8. Yes, after 2 1/2 years there I was keen to move on to Taipei. Unfortunately things didn't work out that way and I wasn't able to get the kind of job I was looking for. So I'm back in South Africa now.

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