Thursday, April 2, 2009

The sense of loneliness follows me everywhere. The feeling of not being understood, not being appreciated, and not being able to feel grounded scares me. And I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling scared. All throughout my life, I have been educated to believe that challenges are growing experiences. However, at this stage of life, I do not want to believe in that. I want to be freed and to live for myself, not for what others believe would be good for me. What right do they have to do that to me? To live like this would be a new experience for me. It take a lot of courage and self confidence. Perhaps I wasn't a rebel after all. Perhaps I was seeking a way out, for myself, which I rightly deserve, don't I?

It takes so much courage to break this vicious cycle, and I need all the strength I can get to move on.


  1. Go to Tuscany. It's beautiful and will recharge your soul a bit.

  2. Hi, Lori!
    It's been a huge while~

    Sometimes I feel like that too. Like I don't really fit anywhere. And that people don't really expect me to succeed, but they just watch.
    Unless, of course, if I was to talk about my parents.
    But... that's another issue. :/

  3. Jeff, thanks for the encouragement. Amanda, such is life and growing pain. Thanks for identifying with my feelings.

    Thanks a lot, my friends.