My Wish

News about this weblog

2010-11-13T15:34:00.000-08:00

I see cobwebs here. But, I am not the one to be blamed for. Blogger locked me out for the longest time ever. I wrote to get support and no one attended to my inquiries. It was truly annoying I must say. Strangely, I was able to log in today, but needed to change my password.

Not being able to access my own blog was a pain.

Here is the news: You can find me on posterous now. To follow me, just subscribe to my posterous posts. So will I ever post here again? Maybe or maybe not. You will just have to check back or visit me at my new home.

The most difficult place to live for expats??

2010-03-22T18:25:00.001-07:00

I read this article just now and have the permission to share. Unsurprisingly, UAE is rated as the most difficult place to get adjusted to, again, among many other sources of ratings. Read this:
Expat Exchange - A Rewarding But Challenging Life - Expats

Posted using ShareThis

Although I was pleased with my accomodation with its location, size, etc., I had a nightmare setting up the place. Everything was so difficult. By the end of the day, I had to deal with both work stress and putting a life together in the Arab world. Let me give you one little example.

This was what part of my living room looked like before the windows were covered. Yes I literally would look like living in a fishbowl without curtains. My neighbor Ali, a rich Indian young man took me to the near-by Indian district and I ordered some blinds, or rollers. Two guys came by to take the measurements and promised things would be smooth as silk and I should make the full payment. Luckily I did not because my nightmare has just started. The night the workers came to install, I skipped a get-together inviation to stay home for them. They came, of course three hours late. Quoting my friend Pam's wisdom, "well in this country, if they ever show up, you are lucky. If not, it is normal. Don't sweat over it." I told myself to breathe deeply while waiting. They came by finally with all the tools laid out in my living room and said, "there is a big problem." Then they went on to speak Hindu and ingnored my questions such as "what is the problem?" "Can you install today?" They did not understand what I said obviously.

So they started drilling holes on the wall and I started praying. Then these guys could not fit the pieces to the windows. I started to get nervous. It was 10 p.m. and none of the rollers were up. So I got up from the couch, running around trying to help them. Finally they got two pieces up in one of my rooms, but somehow they left this huge space between two blinds. I asked them to make the space go away and they said, "no, it is impossible." What did they mean by impossible! I did not spend all this money on a lousy job like this. I became angry and called one of the guys who measured my windows.

"Please, you have to come by now. I cannot communicate with these gentlemen. They won't do what I have ask them to do." I raised my voice.

"We can't go over now. We are in a different city."

"You have to talk to them now because it is mess here." I insisted, and I started crying.

No they would not want to come but they knew I was crying. I had never fret over little things like this anywhere in the world. But of course this was UAE and things were supposed to be difficult. I called my friend Ali and asked him to come help me. It was during Ramadan and Ali was having Iftar dinner with his family. He came to my rescue and translated for me to those guys. I was sobbing and thanking Ali and I knew he felt really sorry for me.

So finally these men pulled over the rods to make them closer. Then the doorbell rang and these two other Indian guys who took the measurements showed up. I thought they said they were two hours away but whatever happened, they decided to come check it out. Then my friend Allan called to check on me and decided to leave his party early to help me out. So Allan, a tall Scottish man speaking with his firm British tone straightened things out for me. He said exactly the same thing that I wanted to say but he was a male and I was a woman. Having a man in the house made a huge difference, in this part of the world.

What was I doing in these chaos? Sobbing, blowing my nose and wiping my tears away on the couch. My mind went very blank after Allan came. I let him took over my house and the only thing I heard from then on was Allan saying "see how the lady is upset?"

They did not finish the installation that night. They had to come back for two more nights after that, and I could not take that anymore. Allan was kind enough to sit in my house supervising them while I went out walking in the mall. On the last night of installation I came home to relieve Allan as it was very late. Allan dragged me to the kitchen and said, "Lori, let these men to their jobs, okay?" Somehow he was afraid that I might be too demanding (perhaps he thought I had been) and the installation would not be completed. I nodded and compromised. I surrendered to the U.A.E.

Allan gave several bottles of beer to these men and they left after they finished the job. I did not know if it was legal because if these guys were Muslims, they were not supposed to drink alcohol, especially during Ramadan. I crossed my fingers that we would not get arrested.

So was I pleased with the job they did? What do you think? There was a big space in between two blinds facing the elevator where everyone could see me running around in my living room. My friend Pam decided to lend me her beloved screens to shield me off people's wandering eyes.

Remembering the girl from Edmonton

2010-03-16T02:51:00.000-07:00

I was surfing the net for Alberta Ministry of Education and all of a sudden I remembered this girl.

She was probably a college or high school student and was from Edmonton, Canada. We ran into each other at the Detroit International Airport. Obviously due to the storm both of our connecting flights were delayed. I was going to Philadelphia for my graduate school, and she was going home to Edmonton. My fatigue from the international flights was overcome by my excitement to be on the soil of the United States of America, a country I dreamed to flee to since when I was a teenager. And seeing snow for the very first time, on Christmas Eve (don't ask me why I travaled on a day like that) was even more exciting. The Americans were friendly and I talked to a lot of people on my shuttle from the plane to the terminal. I still remember one of the conversations:
Me: Hi, how are you? It is my first time in the States.
A middle aged woman: Oh, is that nice! Welcome to America.
Me: Thanks.

Hey, someone actually welcomed me to America. Well, back to the Edmonton girl. She was obviouly very scared to travel by herself and was worried about not being able to go home. I did not worry. Like I said, I was too excited to be worried. Oh, back then, I had a fearless soul. The girl begged me not to leave her alone so I promised I would keep her company. We walked around in the airport, chatting and waiting, waiting and chatting. Then we boarded our connecting flights.

From then on, I thought about this gril when I heard or read something about Edmonton. It is weird how a distanct memory can linger around for so long.

Now, I am going to email the Ministry of Education in Alberta and hope someone would reply.

Wish me lots of luck. I can use it now.

I am a grandma + and the Latern Show

2010-03-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

No kidding, I have become a grandmother. Or precisely, a grand aunt. In Taiwanese, "grand teacher."

Students from my early teaching career are those that I miss most. They are very respectful. There is an old Chinese saying for "once a teacher, a life-time father (parent)." One of my former students have become a father, for the fourth time. I met one of his daughters yesterday and she called me "teacher-grandma (grand teacher." The girl, at two, was so darling. She recited four Chinese poems to me.

It was a funny feeling to be a grandmother!

And nothing related to the above...I want to share the latern show from the latern fest.

The last day of the new year

2010-02-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

The Latern Festival signifies the last day of the new year. Although not a big fan of this type of event, I tagged along anyway and rubbed shoulders with millions of people. It was somewhat summer like today-very humid and I could tell that my body did not like the heat. The dreadful summer will soon be here and I am not prepared for it yet.

If I can wish upon the laterns, I wish for no more earthquakes and disasters, for people to be more forgiving with one another, and for love to heal the wounds of all kinds.

God bless Taiwan and all.

Beware of what you wish for

2010-02-22T21:37:00.000-08:00

I've gotten my wish. This time, a pair of new-year earrings, from my cousin Bonny. What is more precious is that she made them, among many other items such as necklaces and rings. They are lovely. My cousin is truly talented. Love ya, Bonny.

I was just thinking about having red earrings before our family reunion. Red is the color for the new year and also a symbol that I am truly a very mature woman now. When you fall in love with the bloody red color, you are officially old.

Here is the cutie. The photo was taken when the car was moving, hence blurry. I guess red is a good color on me.

Holiday

2010-02-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

Holidays can be joyful yet stressful at the same time. The Taiwanese culture is a group culture, and my family is not an exception. This includes doing things together, multiple conversations going on simultaneously, everybody wants to be a part of everybody's life by giving advice all the time, and making sure that the advice is taken and followed. Whew! As much as I am an outgoing person, I am pretty aloof from all conversations. I just watch and take off when it is too much to handle. I tried many times to be more like my other siblings but could only do so much to accomodate. Having said so, I am trying my best to be involved in family outings and gatherings. In fact, I cherish these opportunities because as time goes by, the chances of doing so will diminish.

Sometimes I feel like I am living two lives. When I am away from home, especially when I am abroad, I am a totally different person who is more cheerful compared to when I am at home. Therefore, my desire of wanting to be connected to my root often is compromised by my other desire of wanting to be free and happy. There is never going to be a happy medium.

Enough of the rambling. Here are some photos of my family's recent outings in Taiwan.

The BBQ from the Chou tribe of Alishan.

The Taiwanese yellow cows. We don't see them anymore. This wagon was just for the tourists.

I loved these Bolivian musicians. Bought two CDs and had their autographs. Maybe they did not understand my Spanish...they had my name wrong. Too bad bloggers took away the video inserting function. Here is a short clip of the performers.

http://loriteng.vox.com/library/post/bolivian-performers.html

Then we went to the mountain for a change of scenery. I do not know if these were plum blossoms but they surely looked amazing.

That was my dad strolling in the gardern. We could see the mountain afar. Quite mysterious and typically Asian.

Here is another shot of the mountain in the cloud. My parents loved this.

The tea garden.

It was almost dark when we finished dinner at this unique restaurant that featured a buddhist design. We had a nice day with light rain accompanying us while driving down to the city. I sang "Tomorrow" from Annie to my niece Corine in the car. She sang along and I wish she could learn to sing this song because she had such a beautiful voice. It is one of my all-time favouriate songs among my new Bolivian music collection.

When the year of the tiger comes 新年新希望

2010-02-12T06:27:00.000-08:00

Visited the old time

Reflected on the past

Thought about what could come my way for the new year?

Hoped for the door to lead to light and laughters, and I could be the source of illumination for some.

MW in Tainan, an old city of Taiwan. 台南古城

Ooooh Abu Dhabi

2010-02-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

Here is the famous Abu Dhabi and our dream-like tour to the mosque. The weather was gorgeous and the tour to the mosque was just amazing! We visited a near-by mall and ate at a Canadian restaurant that we had never heard of (didn't even know it was a Canadian chain store). A Syrian museum staff member invited me in for a cup of tea and I spilled it. I also broke a martini glass for an expensive drink in Dubai recently. MW has serious eye-hand coordination problems, just so that I would let you know.

Jordan

2010-01-27T05:38:00.000-08:00

Breath-taking sceneries occupied my time in Jordan. Petra is a must-go and I highly recommend it if you have a chance to visit.

Trying out the new Dubai metro

2010-01-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

Clean, beautiful station was the first impression I had for the Dubai Metro. Not bad at all.

I went up and down the escalator just to be silly

Posing with Susan's mom visiting from the U.K.

We had to walk a long way to the nearest station..among the construction sites, which are typical in Dubai, or the U.A.E.

Ticket stands

Beautiful station

Susan, my reliable friend studying the direction while I goofed around

Fancy decors

The bathroom inside of the station

Me, little me, finally riding the crowded metro. Where did all these people come from?

Collecting friends

2010-01-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

Cool friends in the U.A.E.

I will never forget how exciting it was to meet people that shared part of my life in the UAE and befriended me so much.

Friends who offered to listen to me, check on me when I was not so happy.

Friends that I met unexpectedly in the weirest circumstances; and those who opened up themselves to show unconditional support to me. I may not see them again for a long time, but the memories will remain freshly endearing in my heart.

Time for some photos

2009-10-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

These were taken on the first day I arrived at the new staff orientation. It was the second week of August and I sneaked out to take photos. My friends thought I was crazy to go out in the brazing heat doing this.

The Taiwanese flag is included in the disply. Rare but exciting.

Life can be strange

2009-09-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a month since I arrived in the U.A.E. I have only been recently connected to the Internet at home, and still have not subscribed to TV service which apparently is hard to get, along with many other services. It has been challenging to put life together in a new culture. So when my colleagues told me about the recent typhoone damages in Taiwan, it sounded like someone else's story. It was surreal. I coul not believe the world had been turned upside down for many of my country men and women only a week after I left the country.

I felt like a rebel, and guilty, for not being helpful when this happened recently. It has been a pattern of my absense from major disasters in Taiwan. I was not home in the SARS attack couple of years ago, and I wasn't there when a major earthquake happened in a September.

God bless Taiwan and the rest of the world.

Sentiments

2009-06-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Flowers make people happy

especially when they are free
and received unexpectedly

But they don't last...just like people, things and life..
They wither, in a day or two..so will my memory..with these and more..
Goodbye..
Thanks for being with me..may your values be recognized and cherished wherever you go

Downsizing

2009-06-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

Downsizing my clothes,
Downsizing my belongings,
Downsizing my needs, and
Downsizing my life.

Faith

2009-06-04T06:52:00.000-07:00

I have to write, I need to fly, if only I can find..

Risks, chances, the two faces..

Pounding my heart, streaking a cut, devouring me in the dark..

The throbbing veins, my conscious gain, accompanying me to the end..

Singapore

2009-05-19T01:29:00.000-07:00

It is almost half way through the year and I have not documented my last trip to Singapore yet.

I went there in January of this year, for the e-CASE 2009 conference. Besides presenting a paper and chairing a session, I was one of the four speakers in an international forum.

Singapore is hot all year round. It is small but full of cultural attractions. Mandarin Chinese, English and Fokkian are spoken by many people there. Fokkian is similar to Taiwanese so I was able to communicate with many food vendors. Cantonese is well received there too. Actually Singapore and Malaysia share many cultures, including the languages and accents.

Here are some snapshots of Singapore:

Had a cocktail here. It was late into the night:

From a cable car in Santosa island

Taking a train in Santosa

I wasn't too interested in this: beach at Santosa.
Clarke Quay: Had dinner here on the first night
Lots of shops for tailored Chinese dresses
The famous Hainan Chicken and Rice
Apartments are numbered.

Not a bad idea to hang clothes out systematically.

China Town

Sneaked into a school open house and got some free gifts.

A simulation on the college tour

Singapore is a litter free country

A taste of Singaporean flavours

Singapore is an ordered society with multicultural people living in harmony. But I wonder if Singaporeans feel cold easily because they have only one season to experience? My friend Ron, his son and I posed with two interesting new friends-Emre and Zumrut, the nice couple from Turkey. Zumrut, Emre and I have kept in touch ever since. I just love making friends.
(photo: courtesy of Ron)

More on the flu

2009-05-02T01:49:00.000-07:00

I was not happy to hear Joe Biden being referred to as a dope, for his advice to the public on coping with swine flu. I agree with what he said 100%, and I feel sorry for those who are taking this situation lightly. Moreover, snickering at Mexico's health care system (as I have read from some North American online forums) is not a noble act. Feeling lucky over people's misfortunes is not admirable.

This is a global threat and we are all in the same boat. It is not the job of the WHO or local health agencies to keep us safe; we need to look after our own safety by being sensible citizens.

The suspected case in S. Korea has now been confirmed, and Hong Kong has its first confirmed case from a Mexican tourist. This morning, my heart twitched in reading this news: a number of Taiwanese tourists who shared the same plane ride with this Mexican tourist had just returned to this island.

Traveling inter-continently is going to speed up the spread of virus for sure. If I had the authority, I would shut down the air and sea ports, observe the situation for at least two months before re-opening them. Travel warnings to the affected areas are not going to stop the plaque. People should stop traveling to and from places for a while, just to allow the virus to be marginally contained.

Men and women are not almighty conquerors. In the midst of the global crisis, we should relearn to be in awe to what we cannot control and live in harmony with the nature and all creatures. We need to be humble.

Epidemic

2009-04-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

I strongly suggest suspending all traveling plans if you can. Think about the viruses you may contract in airplane cabins and the number of people you are likely to get this deadly virus from just by being in the airports.

Keep exercising and keep the immune system strong. And if you can, keep the stress level down to the lowest as possible as stresses are the number killer of our immune system.

According to BBC News Channel, the confirmed cases are as follows as of April 28, 2009:

Mexico: 152 suspected deaths from flu - 20 confirmed cases
US: 50 confirmed cases
Canada: 6 confirmed cases
New Zealand - 3 confirmed cases
UK - 2 confirmed cases
Spain: 2 confirmed cases
Israel - 1 confirmed case
Countries with suspected cases: Brazil, Guatemala, Peru, Australia, and South Korea, and seven EU states

This is very scary, people. I hope we can all escape this epidemic. We are indeed powerless as human beings. Everyone, please take care.

Meet the new rice cooker

2009-04-18T07:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to admit that this is the very FIRST rice cooker that I bought for myself, in my life, so far. Celebrate, celebrate. It cooks up to six cups of rice. Thinking back, the other brand new one that I've received as a Christmas gift from my friend Jeannie was a miniature cooker with only a basic function to click and cook. It felt apart quickly. This one is different. It was made in Japan and with it, I get to choose to cook different grains of rice. Unlike myself, I dashed to one store without a second thought, skipped the comparing prices part, paid 4990 NT (over 100 USD)and grabbed it home.

The story was that I went to see this interesting traditional healer, or more or less a Chinese medical healer. He is not licensed to practice medicine and only advises people on diet. I told him my problem and he recommended brown rice with peaches and prunes for meals. He said that I needed more "solid" food. Besides advising against veggies and fruit from now on he also suggested more meat for my body.

According to him, I have to change my diet totally now. Rice is never my favorite and I prefer noodle over rice. As an Asian, it is somewhat rare that I do not even have a rice cooker in the house. I usually make one cup of rice and have it last for several meals. Sometimes, I even forget to eat it. And because I use a pot, not an Asian rice cooker to make rice, it does not come out that tasty. This has in turn affected my appetite for rice.

The other thing is that I have been somewhat scared of eating meat. The thought of the unknown amount of hormone and antibiotics injected to the meat makes me want to turn away from it. I've quit red meat for a while, and have been careful in selecting the types of fish or seafood that are marginally safe to consume.

I also have quit my favorite milk recently. I read that milk accelerates the formation of osteoporosis. Coffee is a no no for now and I only drink herbal tea containing no caffeine.

I am trying to stay away from food made of flour. Bread, cookies, crackers, pastries, and noodle are now rare visitors on my table. I only eat soba noodles.

I have to say that rice made out of a real cooker is unbelievably delicious and I am glad of my investment. But if eating meat can make me healthier, I'll try some.

2009-04-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

The sense of loneliness follows me everywhere. The feeling of not being understood, not being appreciated, and not being able to feel grounded scares me. And I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling scared. All throughout my life, I have been educated to believe that challenges are growing experiences. However, at this stage of life, I do not want to believe in that. I want to be freed and to live for myself, not for what others believe would be good for me. What right do they have to do that to me? To live like this would be a new experience for me. It take a lot of courage and self confidence. Perhaps I wasn't a rebel after all. Perhaps I was seeking a way out, for myself, which I rightly deserve, don't I?

It takes so much courage to break this vicious cycle, and I need all the strength I can get to move on.

The story of a spoon

2009-02-03T05:54:00.000-08:00

I got the tea spoon when I came home for a visit from California many years ago. It was only 10 NT each from a market stand and I was delighted to buy four of them. The stand has long been gone and I couldn't find these anymore. I remember inviting the ladies to a lunch and tea party and my friends Renee and Linda adored them.

They got bent in the dishwasher and one was lost somewhere- Probably was beaten up in my old dishwasher.

These are traveling spoons and they are meant to travel again. I am taking them with me to my new destination.

To be or not to be

2009-01-12T20:55:00.000-08:00

I have been undecided about my future, since day one when I returned here. With a hope to reconnect to the land and home that I was born to and escaped from, I yearned for acceptance from my own country-or my own acceptance of the country and culture. It has been difficult here, for opportunities are slim for growth, professionally and personally. The job has been a dull case with meaningless requirements that kill one's soul and body. Sometimes I hate that I am not one of them who can tolerate and suffer for things that bear no meanings at all. Last year, I was denied for my promotion after two and half years' of non-stop preparation and sacrifice of pleasure in life. I've learned that for a nobody here in Taiwan, hard work alone isn't enough for getting recognized. The development of connections is the key to it. Unfortunately, I was naive to believe that I should give it a shot no matter what. At this point, I am trying very hard to convince myself that I am of value with all these rejections. Rejections from getting grants, and rejections of being considered to enter the Taiwanese scholarly world.

But on the other hand, I do not like the narrow-mindedness of the so-called Taiwanese academia. I need to be involved in discussions, to find allies and comrades whom I can work with. And I feel so alienated here. With the number of newly increased higher ed institutions and decreased birth rate, competition is fierce in this part of the world. The severe evaluation system drives me nuts everyday. Philosophically, I do not buy in the "holding hand" policy of student advising. Seriously it is a heavy load for instructors aside from their research and teaching responsibilities. Like I said, if I can be more like the others, I can do this blindly and believe that it is my fate.

I am forced to look elsewhere-to move abroad again. It is somewhat sad and hard, to leave my family again, to fight alone in a foreign land with visa problems. But I am not sure what I should look into this time. Should I take up administration again in a system that I was familiar with; would I be inspired for growth with the familiarity, or should I take more time to look for something that could be innovative and interesting, yet at the same time tolerate the boredom and sadness that kills me everyday here in Taiwan? Should I go with the Asian principle of tolerance and numb myself to believe that something better will come along, or should I stop the torture for something else. How can I be sure that this something else is not a false alternative which can drive me further apart from my homeland? Or perhaps I can take up the role of a world citizen again, and set out to venture for something new without binding myself to certain geological premises. I do not know what to think, and I do not have peace with either direction that I choose to enter. The only thing that I look for is to leave my current job and at least have some peace of mind in being myself. I am a carefree person who believes in the goodness of humans and dislikes meaningless structures. How can I set myself free without taking a wrong step? I am not a young bud anymore who has the time to waste in life.

Wishing all of my family and friends a bright year ahead

2008-12-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

Here is to you (to me, too) an incredibly awesome year and many more.

Japan the wonderland 美しい日本

2008-09-01T01:57:00.001-07:00

Last week, I hopped over to Japan for a few days, just to take my mind away from worries and frustration. Japan is such a beautiful and clean country with courteous people everywhere.

We woke up early everyday just to see as many places as we could during the short stay. I tried to get by with my rusty Japanese talking to local people that I ran into. Most people were helpful answering my questions. I even visited a women's club to inquire about the membership price. It was similar to "Curves for women" in the states, where women rotate to do aerobics and weight training using machines. Then I visited a children's cooking school. Kids were so cute to look at, and I pretended to be one of the parents waiting to pick up my child by sneaking in the parents' observatory area.

Food was wonderful and the presentations were just too pretty and classy. I miss the sukiyaki and oodon noodles especially. Oh, and we had hot spring baths in the hotel for two nights. Everywhere I went, I felt respected, and every morning when we left a hotel, the staff came out to say goodbye with bows and hand waves. It was so good to be treated as a honored guest.

To my surprise, the living expense in Fukuoka is very affordable and if I were to move to Japan, it would be my first choice. I wish to do some hiking around the volcano area and visit some local families if there is a chance to do so. I also want to try some of the farmer's tofu dishes if I ever go back to Aso. But first of all, I need to brush up my Japanese.

I think I left my heart in beautiful Japan! 私は日本を愛する

About the scent of the koalas

2008-08-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Marie, the caretaker explained where the scent of koala came from.

If you ask me what the most important thing is in communicating cross-culturally, I would say to pay attention to the cues of non-verbal messages. You see, here Marie was probably becoming a bit annoyed by having to teach people how to hold the koala (esp. with ignorant foreign tourists) as it could be repetitive and boring. I can imagine how difficult it can be to deal with a line of tourists who come here just to hold the animal for once and have their pictures taken.

So I decided to approach her during the break and asked if she would be willing to explain where the scent of the koala came from to my students in Taiwan. Immediately she showed me this beautiful smile and agreed to do that with my camera.

People like to be respected and it is universal. Even in a situation where we don't speak the language of a person we run into, ackowledging the person's existence with a genuine smile and eye contact can be helpful. The power of empathy breaks cultural boundaries.

Greetings from Australia

2008-03-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Australia was wonderful with beautiful weather and interesting people. I guess I wasn't successful in toning down my near-American accent because people asked me about it all the time. If I ever had a chance to visit again, I want to do some trekking and beach visiting. The sun highlighted the end of the Australian summer with blazing heat. I finally got to see the famous opera house and koala with my own eyes.

Christmas greetings

2007-12-21T21:18:00.001-08:00

Can't believe it is around the corner again. Sometimes I feel like the Grinch. Christmas is always a busy time for us here in Taiwan and the worst is that it is NOT a holiday, hence no "time off." Yes, you've heard me correctly. It is a normal working day for us here. So for those of you who have the luxury to relax a bit and enjoy the Christmas cheers with family and friends, think of me here while you are celebrating and I can certainly use some good vibes you've sent to beat all these deadlines.

The only good thing about not having it as a mandated holiday is that I can skip all this shopping- and I don't complain on that. It used to be hard to be a Taiwanese in the U.S. We shopped for Christmas and gave money out to family for the Chinese New Year. Doubling spending, you know.

I have problem uploading a video to this site so instead I am linking you to my Christmas greeting video on vox.

Vox does not allow non-members to leave a comment so if you want to leave a message for me, you are welcome to comment here.

Happy holidays.

Daddy's Birthday

2007-11-04T19:16:00.000-08:00

Dad called me yesterday, which was unusual because my folks rarely called me up. I remember calling them every weekend when I lived in the States, just wanting to hear their voices and know how they were doing. So on picking up the phone, I said to dad, "wow wow, what a surprise that you called." He said he did because he hadn't heard from me for a while. Now you have to know that my parents have five kids-me being the oldest and always the one who wandered miles away from them. When their grandchildren were born, they were too happy and occupied to check on me, and I did not
mind(well maybe a little)because I used to live in a place that was day and night apart from where they were. But for dad to call on a regular Sunday..I was suspicious..what was going on?

It turned out that it was Dad's birthday yesterday. And I forgot about it. This morning I was driving around running for errands, and all of a sudden I remembered that. Darn, I swore to myself, and felt so bad about forgetting it. No wonder dad called. He must have been receiving happy birthday wishes from my siblings and the grand kids all day long, except for from me. "What should I do?" I thought to myself. In our culture, it is okay to celebrate a birthday early, but never late. Never. So I was debating whether or not I should send dad a belated birthday wish. And there is one thing, I do not quite feel like driving home because I have to be back at work in the morning. I just don't like to drive, and purposefully try to avoid it when the gas price keeps climbing up.

So I tried calling my sister Carol, who might still be home from visiting for the weekend. I wanted to see if she had driven home and if I could catch a ride back here tomorrow. She did not answer the phone. So I called my mother instead. Mom has Monday tea ceremony classes in a town that is close to me. I thought she probably wouldn't mind coming over here to pick me up on the way home tonight. But it turns out that mom is doing her volunteer work today in a different city. Still, I am glad that I called because I found out today is actually Dad's birthday on the Lunar Calender. Well, lucky me. Then it is not too late to celebrate if I can make it home by today. So I rushed to a nearby bakery to order a cake and went to the bank to cash money for the gift. I usually give Dad aftershaves for his birthday. I just think someone should be a constant supplier for that because he doesn't shop for himself. In fact, I tried to present a different type of lotion or cologne for his birthday or Father's Day each year. An alternative is to offer a red envelope which can be seen as a standard good luck charm in this culture. It can't go wrong with money!

I am just glad that I did not miss the big day and I want to celebrate it with my folks. I am happy that I am here, living in the same country to see them whenever I want, and I want them to know that by driving back home to spend a night with them, I show my respect and love for them. So here it is, the red envelope. It says, "daddy, wishing you a happy birthday, good health and all that you've ever wanted."

Teacher's Day Eulogy

2007-09-29T23:54:00.000-07:00

As I was going through the motion of another routineous day, I remembered very well that it was the Grand Teacher's Day when the ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius was honored for his birthday. Didn't we use to get a day off and didn't we use to send cards to our teachers? Now it is not celebrated as a holiday although its significance remains on the calendar with a tiny mark next to the day.

So it was a work day for me on a day that was not publicly acknowledged anymore. I sat with my morning freshman psych. classes in an international conference which they were forced to attend. I felt like a nanny and many times I feel so in my current job. What was really funny was that the department sent a student worker to remind me of my duty to keep the students from skipping the event. The topic was music therapy and I doubted how many of them felt truly inspired at their age? Why did they call this an international conference anyway when the audience wasn't international at all?

At 3:30pm, my dear student Mr. Liu showed up to present a card to me. It was the third time in a roll that he did this and I, on seeing him outside of my office waiting, suppressed my tears. I really wanted to hug and thank him for remembering me on this day. For the first time in three years, I felt like a teacher who was truly appreciated by a student. I told him how special he was and he seemed embarrassed, not expecting this to come from me-a teacher. Taiwanese student may not be used to hearing compliments. But I ignored that and told him how much he had made my day.

On the card, he wrote, "dear teacher, I want to know if you are as pretty as ever, and I hope they are not killing you with this amount of work. I wish you are more beautiful each year. Thank you for being a part of my life." How can I not feel touched by sweet words like these? Mr. Liu certainly did not expect me to read the card in front of him. I answered each of his questions in the card and asked him to show me the secret of staying young and beautiful as we age.

There was this person in my life whom I owed thanks to on every Teacher's Day. It was my first English teacher Mr. Huang in junior high school. He gave me a key to the world by leading me to understand the north American cultures and language. He was not only a teacher, but a father figure to his young students by giving his love unconditionally. There I was, a sad girl searching for the meanings of life at the age of 13. I did not like school and doubted why I had to be imprisoned in a culture where my individualism was not valued. I wanted an outlet to a different life and found my escape in the world of English. I felt as if I was in a different world where I could be who I was, without having to abide by the rules of absurdity. It was a make-believe world where I temporarily relieved myself from the boredom of life.

Mr. Huang raised two children on his own after his wife had passed away. He would often come by and reach out to hold us, urging us to practice English with him. But we all ran away. Studying English for more than five hours a day was drilling to young teens. As much as I enjoyed learning it, I couldn't help join other students for a complaint from time to time.

It was when I was in college that I heard Mr. Huang had cancer and was very sick in the hospital. I was in shock and did not know what to do to cheer him up. I had not kept in touch with him although I was one of his favorite students. I was too scared to go see him. From other former classmates, I learned that he was not doing well. Several of them had visited him. And I, waited, and waited until one day I heard that he had passed away. I heard that he worked away typing the English practice sheets for his students on his sick bed, until the very last day of his life.

All these years, I felt like a coward because I was too afraid of death to visit Mr. Huang while he was still alive. I missed my chance of saying goodbye. Mostly, I miss him so much that I wish I could see him smiling with his cute buck teeth again. I know that he is in good hands with the Lord but I really miss him. I want to ask him to teach me to say the double "r" in Spanish, again and again. I would practice very hard until I get it right this time. And I would tell him that he is the best teacher that I've ever had, the most talented Asian teacher who rolled his tongue so well when speaking Spanish. I want to tell him that I was mimicking his ways in teaching my own English classes to teenagers when I was back in college, and I had done very well producing some excellent students who went on to shine in the world of the English language. Perhaps I've managed to keep his legacy?

I am writing this in memory of the one and only Mr. Huang from Concordia Middle School, for he inspired me to interact with another world that I found comfort in my early miserable teen years. I love you very much Mr. Huang. Can you see that I just got a card from a student? I wish you had an address that I can send my card to.

Beauty or Persecution?

2007-09-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Some say it is inhuman to treat women like this while others say these women and girls should be freed from wearing coils on the neck. I simply do not judge. There is nothing wrong in letting people do whatever they want to preserve their own cultures. Most of the long neck tribe live in the mountains of Mae Hong Son where they are widely spread out. This village we visited was only a "show case" where souvenir selling was a major activity.

Perhaps they took turns to man the exhibition booths. Perhaps they lived in the tents for a few days before other tribal women came in to take over the duties. I saw women caring for little ones, girls putting special make-ups on to attract visitors and mostly people persuading us to shop.

One of the visitors, a nurse, reached out to touch a little girl's neck, saying that she had suffered from an allergy to brass. I tried to stop her from doing that. It was an act of disrespect to me and I did not like that. This lady expressed her sympathy and swore that something needed to be done to "rescue" these women and girls from wearing the brass coils.

What right do we outsiders have to judge what is good for people from a different culture? Can we be forcing our values on them without understanding the history of their perceptions of beauty? On my return flight to Bangkok, I read that the Long Neck tribe actually welcomed the help from the government to draw their community together. The government's plan was to help with the housing and life subsidy by opening their community to visitors without charging a fee to enter. Of course it can be seen as a scheme to spruce up tourism. At the same time, it helps the villagers earn extra incomes to improve their lives in the mountain. It can be interpreted as enabling the sharing of the tribal cultures too. As long as a permission has been obtained from the tribe, or most of the people from the tribe, they can decide their own future.

But when I heard one of these women talking with a coarse voice and the little girl breathing hard as I sat beside her, I couldn't help wondering if that might have been the result from wearing this heavy metal..Would I change my position to become one of these "rescuer wanna be"s if more adverse facts were presented to me? I do not know what to think anymore.

Aka boys

2007-09-04T07:08:00.001-07:00

Walking quietly up the hill with bamboo shoots in the bags, they made no sounds and I couldn't read their emotions. I spoke a simple Thai hello, had an urge to shop for the goods, but the ridiculous thought of carrying a bamboo shoot in a mountaineering trip stopped me. They didn't speak back. I posed beside them for a photo and oops, I didn't ask for their permission. But how would I know if they had granted me an okay for photo shooting? They didn't speak at all. I felt that I was taking advantage of their silence. How many bamboo shoots could they sell each day and who had sent them up here? I waived a good bye and walked to the car. They seemed to frown a little but perhaps it was just my illusion. I kept turning back to check on them, waiving my arm several times and there they were, standing still, looking at me. They did not move at all. I waived my final good bye before getting into the car, and finally one of them waived back. The gesture melted my heart at that moment. I wanted to make sure that they knew we were leaving and we weren't going back to buy those bamboo shoots. Weren't they supposed to be in school at this time of the day? Were they curious at us too as we were at them? What if I were born an Aka woman? Was this the way I would have raised my children and would I surrender to my fate?

For the rest of the clear day in northern Thailand, these boys' images stayed with me. I wondered what they did and where they went after our brief encounter.

A few things in life

2007-08-16T22:04:00.001-07:00

I was at my parents making Thai curry and realized we were out of coconut milk. I went around the corner to to a tiny grocery stand which have been in existence since I was very little.

I asked in Chinese, "do you sell coconut milk in a can?" The man looked at me as if I were from outer planet and replied with disgust in Taiwanese, "can you speak Taiwanese?" Heck of course I speak the language, not super great but comprehensible. All I had in mind was that my curry was sitting on the stove and I was in desperate need of this very ingredient, which the traditional taste relied mainly on. You know how some words can slip off the word bank when you need it the most. I stood there and thought about it for two seconds, only failed to remember how to say it in Taiwanese. I looked on the shelves to ignore his question, "it comes in a can, you know, coconut milk," I said again. The mid-day sun was scorching me badly that I was starting to lose patience in looking and decided to head home. "No, I don't think you have it." I talked to myself. "No", he said those words in Chinese. Apparently he heard my self-talk. "But you don't speak Taiwanese?" He raised his voice. I was irritated. It sounded like he was interrogating me like this:
1. How sad that you don't speak Taiwanese living in Taiwan, or.
2. Taiwanese should be used more predominantly than Chinese in Taiwan. And, this woman does not speak it? That is just not right. She has to speak Taiwanese.

I felt being disciminated upon at that very moment. In smaller towns of Taiwan where people claim the real Taiwanese identity, discrimination like this does happen. But I've only seen it on TV or heard about it. To be confronted like this was novelty to me. And it happened in my very home town.

I waved to the store impatiently and said, "no, I don't" in Chinese and then as I walked away, I made a face that he couldn't see and continued with my self-talk "non, je ne parle pas and it is none of your business!" I wasn't even PMSing but was not a happy camper either.

Enough about this. I went home and made myself some English fruit tea. Immediately I felt much better. English tea does wonders to me.

Karaoke

2007-07-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

The last time I went to a karaoke was perhaps when I studied for my Ph.D. in Colorado a decade ago. From time to time, the bored Taiwanese students would ask me to join them and we would car-pooled out to Denver for a night out. We had our moments with karaoke.

My friend Jane is a very good singer and she performed at restaurants when she was still in college. She had asked me to go with her to a Karaoke but it hadn't happened until a couple of days ago when I was really bummed and in a bad mood. At the lunch with Eric and Jane, I proposed to have a "singing our hearts out night" and Jane gladly agreed to go.

We were taken to this huge room with only the three of us! The snacks were not impressive but we loved how we could be our own DJs with the innnovative digital song request system. Jane dedicated an English song to me at the end and she sang so beautifully. Her specialty is Taiwanese songs and I think she is one of the best singers that I have ever heard. Even the very reserved Eric tagged along and he did pretty well too. As for me, I tried some Taiwanese songs with Jane's help. She thought I was good, but I had problem with some of the Taiwanese lyrics. Well, having a compliment from a pro was something!

These two photos were taken with my Nokia N-70 phone camera. Jane didn't mind my spontaneous photo shooting but Eric was not thrilled with it. He blocked my camera with his microphone.

Another summer outing

2007-07-14T03:18:00.000-07:00

I am in my summer slumber here so am not motivated to do a lot other than vegetating in the air-conditioned room. Ooh, the electricity bills will be scary to look at later. Here are some photos I took on a day trip to southern Taiwan. As there is an increasing southeast Asian population here from immigration (and mostly through marriage), we found that there was actually a place called "Vietmese village" in a little town in Tainan. We bought some dried pho, a can of coffee that was super sweet from the little shop. I tried to practice some of my Vietmese with the store clerks but all of them spoke Taiwanese to me.

And here is my voice greeting to you all for a great summer ahead!

What's in store for me?

2007-06-28T04:54:00.000-07:00

I was so far away from home for a long time and after a while home started calling me. I tried to deny it but when every vacation was made for homecoming, and when I was always the missing piece in a family puzzle, I thought of returning. I am so glad that I did. Now I can see my folks whenever I can and spend time with them. I don't have any regrets anymore in not seeing how fast my niece and nephew are growing up.

I don't interact with Taiwan and I don't think I'll genuinely like it for what it is. But I cherish the moments I share with my family for fear that one day I may leave again. I used to feel guilty about not being closer to them and I think I will be torn unless there is a compelling reason to justify my going away. I am not young anymore and as the days go by, my adventurous spirit dwindles, and I just don't know what to do with that. I wish there is a simple answer out there.

Tsong Tsu Time of the Year

2007-06-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

It is Tsong Tsu time (May 5 of the Lunar calender, and 6/19 of 2007)again. Originally associated with the "Poet's Day", Tsong Tsu was first made by kind village dwellers to keep the fish from devouring the body of an ancient patriotic Chinese poet Chui-Yuen, who depressively gave up his life by suicidally jumping into a river. After days and nights of futile search for the body, the village people decided to wrap rice in bamboo leaves to feed the underwater creatures, assuming that food can keep the dead body from being attacked.

Mom made these wonderful Tsong Tsus that were extremely tasty. The ingredients included black mushrooms, chestnuts, lotus nuts, pork and sweet rice. Oh, the fried red onions added so much to the flavor. Here are two photos of the freshly cooked beauties:

And the aroma filled the whole house:

The nude one:

With yummy sweet and hot sauce:
And Finally, Li-chi for dessert!!

I am not sure if Chui-Yuen's body was ever found, but the Tsong Tsu tradition certainly brings some festivity to this hot lunar May day.

You are lucky to be alive in Taiwan

2007-06-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

We should all feel very lucky to be alive to this day while living in Taiwan. I seriously mean it for the following reasons:
1. Pedestrians risk being killed every second crossing the street. The right of way never belongs to those who walks. You will get the honking and brutal staring from drivers and motorcycle riders if you take time to do your business of walking. And beware of the holes and unevenly paved roads that might trip you over. The best way is to watch the road as if you are walking on brittle ice.
2. Drivers are always on nerves in dodging the motorcyclists who seek to sneak into every space they can find and who never pay any attention to turn signals from the cars. Traffic rules mean nothing to them because they create their own in sliding through every crack of traffic.
3. Designated lanes for the traffic and people here are a luxury. The moment you walk out of the door, road rages await you. And the police is nowhere to be seen for law enforcement.
4. When it rains really hard in the monsoon season, you are literally walking in streams and rivers. Beach sandals go very well with my work outfits on rainy days. Everyone should have a pair or two of these if you do not want to ruin the shoes. Why waste the money when your nice shoes and clothes can easily be destroyed by hot sweat and tears from the heaven?

Every day is a maneuver and struggle in a place where human lives mean nothing. I used to love my mean friends in the states by inviting them to visit Taiwan. I threatened my American students by suggesting to throw them out to Taiwan when they failed to cherish the respect they had received for granted. It is a society where community well-being is non-existent and craps for others are acceptable as long as everyone gets what he/she wants. Hail to an orderless society! It is too late to draw city plans that should have been done 50 years ago. Regretfully, only strict laws can bring the society to order.

Everyday when I walk into my place safely, I am so thankful to have lived through another day by remaining intact.

Ohmmmm....may the Buhhda grant us some moments of peace.

Hot summer days

2007-06-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to describe how unbearably hot summer in Taiwan is. The humidity is making things worse each year. Soon as May arrives, the heat level escalates and the air permeates with mildew because of the monsoon rain. The moment you move, your skin starts to develop a sticky salty layer that can only be taken off with a quick cold shower. The only way is to stay in an air-conditioned room. Here in Taiwan, you do not see happy people walking about leisurely, but only those with perspiring struggles to survive the heat and humidity.

Before I go out of the house, I have to remember to carefully apply the sunscreen lotion and get my umbrella ready to shield of the blazing sun rays. I used to laugh at those women with umbrellas, but now I realize that these are necessary weapons to protect people from the sunburn kiss. The umbrella carriers range from men to young girls. It is quite a summer scenery here. Just to prove that I am not making things up, here is a picture of a man holding an umbrella. Then when I drive, I put on slip-off sleeves on my arms to fight off the harmful heat.

So summer really isn't a good time to be in Taiwan. It is a steam room with pollution from the flooding motorcycles. I am always looking for summer hide-outs so if you know any that is not too far from here, let me know and I want to check them out.

On guard

2007-05-24T05:05:00.000-07:00

I can become totally on guard whenever I receive positive comments about my looks from men. I know that first impressions usually are based on looks but the older I get, the more I dislike about being noticed on the appearances. Also, I have become very impatient in having to say, "thank you" before moving on with a conversation or discussion. It becomes a problem for me in potential romantic relationship building. The minute I hear these comments, I turn off my interest in these people. It is not that I question these people's sincerity, but it is because I would rather that they focus on my personal qualities as much as I do with them.

I met a Christian couple months ago and was lucky to learn about how they met. Being very devout Christians, they prayed for God to bring the right people to them before starting to develop any loving and lasting relationships. In our society where appearances and superficial gratification outweigh character-building, it was refreshing to hear such a story. I couldn't help admiring them.

I may have been over-reacted about these comments, but I'd like to rationalize my over-reaction. I wonder if it is possible at all to meet someone who is interested in knowing who I am inside, who is willing to embrace my strengths and weaknesses in being my confidant. Appearances fade but the soul can grow to be more beautiful over time. Sometimes I wonder if my naive hope for a soul mate is lofty.

Kids who made my day

2007-03-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

Capturing the images of some Malaysian children:
Image 1:
Boy 1: Let's go, I don't pose for strangers.
Boy 2: That's okay, Sam, she seems nice and it will be fun!

Image 2:
Boy 1: I don't know..what does this foreign woman want for taking our photos?
Boy 2: Who cares, it will be fine, Sam.
Boy in baseball cap: What are you guys doing here? Come on, let's go. Wait, am I in the picture too?? Should I grin?

Image 3:
Boy 1: All right, just do it quick; we have to go.
Boy 2: Look at the camera, Sam. Maybe she'll make us famous.
Boy in baseball cap: Ooh, I think I am in. Hope that's good.

Practice makes perfect

2007-03-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

What does a worry free me look like? With puffy hair??? (shirt from France, skirt from Taiwan and earrings you can't see from Japan)

Just last night, I was lying in bed wondering why I had so many worries? I finally got tired of worrying and decided to quit doing it. For a moment, I felt good about myself for being able to convince myself into that. Seriously, I was very proud of myself. One of my grad school professors once commented on my personality and said, "Loretta will always find something to worry about even if there is nothing close to be doing so." He was darn right! I do not have much confidence in myself even though I have been perceived to be successful in many things. I am still this little girl seeking the approval from someone.

But being able to perceive the problem doesn't lead to easy correctin of my worrisome personality. What I can do is to "make up my mind" to stop the vicious cycle of carrying unnecessary responsibilities and start to learn to enjoy myself.

The first step will begin from separating others' problems from mine. Well, this is a big revelation for me. While others' behaviors may have an adverse impact on me, I want to be free from perpetuating the effect. I can build up this invisible wall to shield them off and I can tell myself that I am free from their influences. So it was really unfortunate to be hitted on by this married guy in my department and it was not my problem. I despise him and the best I can do for now is to avoid him. This man holds some sort of power to manipulate my promotion so I have to be careful in taking any actions. If this was in a different culture, then I would directly request an apology. But in this sytem, things are different and I have to be very caustious.

I am blessed with many good things in life and I should be happy and worry free. I know I can be a genuinely happy person so I'll start being one today. Good luck to myself and I can be a whole new person in a few weeks.

Weekend get-away

2007-03-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

I visited Kuala Lumper, Malaysia over the weekend and got together with my friend Marcus whom I haven't met for over 16 years. Marcus is one of those people who tries to keep in touch with friends no matter how far they are. My family or I received new year's wishes from him all the time whether I was abroad or in town. I am a people person but I also moved a lot over the last decade. We all know that when we moved, old friends tend to drift away sometimes. I really admire Marcus' effort for keeping in touch with me.

It was nice to experience a bit of the multiculturalism of Malaysia and listen to stories of the Chinese Malaysians. Met a few interesting people of various cultural backgrounds, and I think I'll drop them a note to say hello.

I wish I can take a year off to do some soul searching and overseas traveling. But then I feel insecure to abandom a steady income by quitting a job that is not so satisfying anyway. Getting away is nice at times but returning to the boring routines is a pain after the stimulation. But to think about it, I need to give myself permissions to be out of the ordinary and be wild. After all, life is short and unpredictable. We may have the whole life time to hesitate but then it may not be as long as we have in mind.

Yikes I am deteriorating

2007-03-06T03:49:00.000-08:00

My back hurts! Seriously. The dreadful four hours' of non-stop lecturing and monitoring class activities exhausted me. Tomorrow I am doing this all over again. No it is even worse. It will be classes all morning and a night class for two hours. I am not feeling well and never has this happened before. What's wrong with me? Is age finally having an effect on me? How depressing..I've finally become one of them. Oh my gosh! What else could have gone wrong with my health beside the minor problems that I know of? Was it exacerbated by sitting in front of the computer for the last couple of months? I don't know but I want to get well.

I have this desire of running away right now, just to put all these behind me. I had always fought to get myself to places-I was a warrior, but maybe that didn't help to make it to the point of ultimate happiness. I am just too tired to do that all over again. I want to plan a vacation but I am just tired. My anxiety is back-or it has never left. God I wish it disappears right now. Why can't I make myself happy?

The Green Tara Mantra

2007-02-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

The Green Tara is the embodiment of the Buddha's compassion..May her protection and blessings heal our wounds and shelter us from disastrous pains..

weng da lieh du da lie du lie sou ha

It will take a while to load the music file. The music was produced by Jane Wang Beck and sung by Ito Kayo.
http://uploadhut.com/view.php/388855.wma

The holiday blues

2007-02-22T05:16:00.000-08:00

Holidays always make me sad, with or without family around. I wish I can sleep through the holidays and wake up to a normal day. I just don't like how my emotions are always intensified during those days. All the imperfections of life jump out on me so vividly. It is hard to be optimistic on holidays.

The changing climate

2007-02-14T17:23:00.000-08:00

This year, the seasons have been obscure. The plum blossoms were gone by mid-January and it started to feel Spring like, which normally wouldn't be until early March.

A butterfly befriended me and my camera phone in this early Spring.

Married men need not apply

2007-02-14T01:42:00.000-08:00

There is nothing more insulting than being an object of fantasy for a married man, and being told of that to the face. Integrity is what makes who I am and no one should ever test that. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM IT.

I wish for these obnoxious people to stay away from me forever.

Driving in the rain

2007-02-13T04:36:00.000-08:00

Driving in the rain, I longed for the beaming sun of North America;

I looked for signs of inspirations, but they were nowhere to be found.

The hustle and bustle surrendered to the splashes of water;

and I, a dweller, buried in pensiveness behind the wheel.

Driving in the rain, my wandering brain echoed my escaping heart.

Small world

2007-02-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

I was dining with my family at Saturday noon, and found this interesting lady taking photos of us with her new camera. So we posed for her. Her name was Lynn. I went up to introduce myself, left my card with her and asked for copies of the pictures. There were three of them visiting from South Carolina, U.S.A., and after our brief conversation, Lynn's husband asked if I were married and that he would like his son who lived in San Diego to have a cup of tea with me so that I could counsel him. He cracked me up. It was just so funny!

Then my sister found out that their local host worked at the same university where her former roomate did.

Lynn's husband's mother was born in Pennsylvania, where I lived in the early 90s for more than two years.

What can I say other than that it is a small world (they said the same too), and we never know who we will run into in the next minute of our lives.

I was in a good mood for the rest of the day. Meeting interesting people always cheers me up; and I simply couldn't take my eyes off Lynn's fancy Sony camera.

Magic and Love

2007-02-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

Lighting up the candles of magic and love, I wish for peace of mind, love and a good time. What is yours?

Trying out Nokia

2007-02-09T05:06:00.000-08:00

I was riding in a car when I passed the Nice Plaza in Chiayi. It was New Year's Eve of 2006. I was testing the phone camera and it came out okay. Nokia rocks!

Sorry that I haven't talked to most of you. Believe me, I am dying to get out of my "shell" for the light and fun out there!! Only if I give myself permission first. See what my problem is now?

Totally pooped

2007-02-09T04:19:00.000-08:00

Before I ramble on with my complaints, here is a belated happy new year wish for all in the world and universe. How are you all doing?

After working days and nights to get my promotion review file out, my body is protesting to me now. I am so very wiped out! Going through the hoops isn't so bad compared to working with the bothersome protocols. Why do people have to give each other a hard time instead of loosening up? Why do they create a system to lock us in?

I've spent more time translating my paper and thoughts to Chinese than doing anything else. I lose my patience often in doing that. It is like living in a foreign country all over again. What's even more scary to me is the feeling of "being stuck" because I am not learning anything new here. I've stopped growing professionally and that is so not me..

I can't imagine sitting in front of the computer researching till the day I die. What an awful future to have...

But of course I can look at the bright side of things..and I don't have to be in this..I can get out if I want..

So what's keeping me here?